No matter what the reason may have been, breaking up can be a very emotionally draining experience and sometimes one that is extremely difficult to get over. Quite often the break up is over something silly and if you take the right steps you can overcome the situation, win your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend back, and even build a better and longer lasting relationship.

One of the most important things you must remember during this period break up period is not to panic. Panic reactions can be very damaging and only help to reconfirm the original decision for breaking up with you. Your panic actions may actually cause more damage than good and may act to push your girlfriend or boyfriend even further away. I suspect that's not what you want to achieve.

There are a few classic signs of panic; you should try at all expense to avoid these and take, as we say, the 'high road.'

• Terrorism by Text Messaging keep those thumbs in check and stop with the constant checking for messages or sending messages. Text messaging terrorism really means the repeated attempts to get a hold of ex through means of telephone, email, cell phone, and text messages. If you haven't guessed by now, this is not the kind of attention you should be seeking. Do doing the repeated messaging; you are in fact conveying the message that you are a potential psycho.

• Drunken Dialing okay, you may not actually be drinking or in a state of alcohol intoxication but do not leave repeated phone messages or attempt calling non-stop. You will not win favor with your ex by professing your undying love or mistake over the break up. Excessive calling, especially in the middle of the night, trying to plead you case is what we call 'drunken dialing.' It's a very common response for those who have just broken up but in fact, will not help your case and can destroy chances of reconciliation down the road.

• Argue about the Break Up it's not going to make any sense to worsen the situation by arguing about why you broke up. Sit back, calm down, and let yourself come to your senses so you can more appropriately deal with the situation.

• Community News especially in light of the many social networking tools most of us use today, do not spread the news. Avoid contacting your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend's family and friends. Keep this between the two of you and don't expect family members and friends to do your bidding.

• Accidental Meetings let's get real; do not plan any accidental meetings because they just don't work. Avoid going to the usual hangouts especially if your intention is to spot your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend.

No matter what the reason may have been, we all agree that it can be a very emotionally draining experience and sometimes one that is extremely difficult to get over. Now that you know about panic and what not to do, what should you do?

Although completely counter intuitive and opposite to the feelings you are enraged with, you must agree with the break upat least for now. That means stay cool and calm. It may not be okay with you inside but externally you need to display that it is okay. You can do this easily by avoiding all the stuff we just talked about.

If you are indeed interested in knowing how to get your ex girlfriend back or how to get your ex boyfriend back, then don't do the crazy things. Don't leave non-stop phone messages. Don't wear yourself out with text messaging. And don't go seeking family and friends of your ex to explain your version of the break up. Keep focused and act like you are 100% okay.

Probably the hardest part of any break up is the endless slump you find yourself. Do you feel like life isn't worth living anymore? Maybe it's just easier to stay in bed all day because you just can't face the day? These are many other behaviors can be an endless slump that can completely ruin your chances of getting your ex back. For some, the slump can be so bad that it ultimately affects your friends, you family, your job, and your schooling. You need to break this cycle.

During one of my gloomy periods many years ago, a friend told me that it's okay to visit 'Pity City' just don't relocate. Take time to feel bad and depressed, its okay. Just remember that it should be a temporary feeling. Like a bicycle, just get back on and learn to ride on.