As a young police cadet sitting in the graduating class from Louisiana State University I was told by our class president that being a police officer was a call from God, a call to protect the innocent, defend those who could not defend themselves and confront evil.
I remember leaving that day thinking I would save the world little did I know the world did not want to be saved.
Police officers were brave and fearless they could not show fear or emotion for this was a sign of weakness.
So I suppressed those feelings burying them deep within.
Little did I know that one day that grave would be opened and the events long ago buried within would overtake me in a way I was not prepared for.
We were men able to deal with the death and destruction which presented itself on a daily basis.
There were no post stress debriefings or counseling or even an ability to talk.
Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome was something that occurred in the military in a far away place called VietNam.
It certainly did not exist in a civilized society such as the communities where we served.
I met PTSD one day when I least expected it little did I know it had lived inside my soul for years.
A silent festering wound which grew from within until the day it could grow no more.
You see the human mind is a very fragile thing.
God entrusted it to us and protected it with a thick protective ring because you see God knew how fragile it was and once broken it never completely heals.
Living with PTSD is a walk in the darkness of life that has no end.
Countless police officers have suffered from this deadly enemies cruelty only to surrender in the form of a peace that death only brings.
There is a old saying that goes something like this "you know you are dead but the heart does not have the common sense to lie down and stop beating".