Among the many issues confronting parents when it comes to raising children is in the area of communication. And, that line of communication is a two-way line. It is both the parent's and the child's responsibility to keep the channel of communication open and available. For the adult, it is by way of example; for the child, it is something learned.

We often listen to our children while doing other things such as reading the paper or folding clothes. It may be that we are in the middle of preparing dinner when our children decide to talk to us. No matter what it is we are doing, we need to make the concerted effort to stop what we are doing and pay attention to what our children are saying to us. If that is not possible, make sure you communicate this to them and have them wait until you can give them your undivided attention. It is vital that we do this for two reasons: we truly need to hear what they are saying and they need to know that we are listening.

By paying close attention to what they are saying to us, we will then be better able to respond. How many times have they told us something, only to later have us say 'I didn't hear you say that'! This also can happen the other way around. This not only frustrates the child, but gives them the signal we really don't care what they are saying. As a result, whenever we want them to pay attention to what we are saying to them, it should come as no surprise that they will not listen.

This is why it is so critical that we lead by example through listening carefully to what they are saying in order to maintain that two-way line of communication. When they see that we are truly listening to what they are saying, they are more apt to reciprocate. It is imperative we become as active a listener as we expect them to be so there will always be a line of communication open between parent and child.

One thing of note: be sure to communicate with age-appropriateness in mind. When they are little, they may be a bit chatty or maybe even a tattle tale; no matter, this is all part of the process of them communicating with their parents. As they grow older, since you have established the standard of listening to them when they speak, you will be better positioned to 'run interference' if necessary. On the flip side, because you are always ready to hear what they have to say, they will be more willing to listen to what you have to say to them.

All of this is an excellent example to your children on how to communicate effectively. Thus, as they grow older, they will in turn apply these lessons in effective communication with great skill and clarity. Even so, there will be times when 'kids will be kids' and their line of communication with you will suffer a breakdown. But, if you have remained consistent in your communication with your child, this will only be a temporary setback.

The main objective is to teach by example the importance of keeping the lines of communication open and, having done your job effectively, your children will not only stay in touch with you, but will be excellent at teaching their children those skills they received from you that will guarantee those lines of communication will always be kept open.