As your child crosses over into that strange and wonderful land of adolescence you may be forgiven for thinking you have an alien living in your house.
Several factors working in combination affect the way a teenager behaves and interacts with other people.
The combined stress of exploring their independence, the pressures of schoolwork, societal expectations as well as the hormonal changes your child experiences may create problems for everyone in your family.
As a Parent, you may find that you may have to adjust your parenting style and discipline guidelines if your child has become a discipline problem and if that problem is not what one would call spreading their wings.
A change in approach may help you to accommodate the new son or daughter you are now raising.
You may find your teenager no longer respects your rules and that they will test you more than they did before they entered adolescence.
This is normal.
Here are some guidelines for teen discipline.
As your child gets older and goes into teenage hood, limit the rules to only those issues that are critical, for example homework, curfew, health and driving safety.
You can provide advice and support on other issues, but do not make everything into a rule; otherwise you will lose their attention.
Allow your teenager a bit of room to make mistakes and spread their wings, it is a good way to learn.
Establish an understanding of what you consider 'critical' versus what you would prefer.
For example, keeping their grades up and doing their homework may be paramount to you, while keeping their room clean ever week may simply be a preference.
Consequences are a good way of establishing good behavior and discipline.
The time-out technique does not work for an older child; so instead, a parent can use consequences to establish good behavior.
You must make sure you tell your child the consequences before enforcing the rule.
If for instance your daughter already knows she is responsible for doing the laundry and she does not do it, be sure she understands that the consequence will be that she cannot go out or talk on the phone until the laundry is finished.
Be consistent and do not change the rules all the time! If there is a good reason for changing the rules, discuss it with your teen.
Make the rules clear and make sure they understand why and when the new rule will go into effect.
Be calm and let them know that bad behavior is unacceptable.
Let them know too that you still love them and you will always be there to support them.
Remember, it is the behavior you do not like, not the child.
Make sure they know that.
Do not slam doors, shout or yell.
This may work the first time you do it, but after sometime, your child will get used to it and stop listening.
You also cannot expect your child not to yell and shout at you or other people if you are doing the same to them.
Your discipline approach instead should be that you talk and listen to them as you would an adult, and help them understand the reasons behind what you are doing and why the issue is important.
Doing it this way teaches your child valuable skills for conflict resolution.
Do not threaten your child.
Unless you want your child to develop the same behavior, do not hit them or threaten them or spy on them.
Be consistent and firm and establish clear boundaries.
Give them their privacy and respect, this way, your children will feel valued and able to reciprocate.