So, your relationship broke-up a short time ago. At first you were upset but, as the days pass, you gradually make your way through the emotional tangle and you are starting to contemplate the bright, new life ahead with partners yet to be discovered.

Only, some of us suffer, never actually quite reaching this stage. They find it difficult to detach themselves from their ex emotionally, even if the physical relationship has ceased.

If you are in this category you will observe yourself constantly thinking about your ex and wondering if they are still thinking about you . You will recount in your subconsciously, again and again, the explanation your ex gave for split from you. Undoubtedly, your days will be filled with thoughts absently endeavouring to understanding the dynamics of the situation and pondering how things might have been different.

And, the pattern repeats itself, recycling every 24 hours as you seemingly numbly progress from one day to the next.

This is a normal reaction for someone who finds themselves abruptly ejected from a relationship that they did not want to finish.

So, if you find yourself in this situation, what should you do?

Firstly, leave it at least five or six weeks to see how you feel. It is surprising, but many a case of a lost romances that "should have been" and pangs of yearning can be eased with the passage of a short interlude.

If, however, after a month or so you find yourself unable to emerge from your initial post break-up melancholy, then you might like to try and contact your ex.

If you broke-up from your ex on in an amicable manner then you could send them a cell phone text directly. If you do this, keep it succinct, make sure it is to the point and make sure it is friendly. A text of the sort: "Hi, how you doing? I'm doing fine. Would you like to get together for a casual chat? If not, no problems. Mind to look after yourself and with hugs and kisses."

Relationship termination from your ex occurred after a verbal fight then it is surely preferable to proceed with the help of a mutual acquaintance or an understanding confident from ex's family circle. Send a message, at an opportune time in a joint conversation, in a similar vein.

If your ex does not to reply to this message then you need to avoid the temptation to fire off a volley of follow-up texts or messages.

If you ex replies with nice words but refuses your offer of having a chat then they manifestly still have some feelings of care for you. This is the most delicate outcome because whilst your ex may have lingering feelings toward you that does not portray that your ex necessarily wishes to re-engage the romance that once existed .

Alternatively, if you former lover responds positively then arrange to meet somewhere neutral in public to have a chat. One mistake many people make in these cases is to assume that everything is , without fear of consequence, set to take-off and that you can immediately resume as if nothing has intervened.

You cannot.

Your lost lover originally decided to move on for a reason.

Treat any meeting as you would any other initial date. It is nothing more than a social encounter for both of you to learn a little about one another. Do not commence rehashing your past times together, that would be a dire error. Instead, endeavour to keep the topic of conversation forward looking. If your lost lover wants to talk freely, then let them - practice your art of being a good listener.

At some time during the chat you may pick up the mood that your ex is regretting the break-up, although with less emotion than you feel.

If you are noticing good vibrations, then remain a little aloof. Engage in a little flirting - but, make sure you do not over play your hand. Attempt to present the happy, exciting, confident side of your character. If romance is to be brought back into bloom, your lost lover will not only rediscover once more the alluring in you but they will be required to be teased with some previously unknown or updated previously hidden side of your character to aid them negotiate the reason why they wanted to part from you in the first instance.

One mistake that most people fall into to is to repeatedly reiterate to their ex that they still want them, and feel empty without them, and that they will always have loving desires to be with them, and that they cannot exist without them, and so on, and so, on... If you must, explain this to your ex this once, and once only. Fear not, your sentiments will register. They will, without doubt, comprehend your feelings. Hearing the identical sentiments a hundred times over will not help win back your ex - if anything, it will likely have the exact opposite effect.

Hopefully if you have arrived through the forest thus far, then go on carefully, as if this is an entirely fresh romance. A fresh start on another exciting journey. A new chance to find that special lover.

Enjoy all the happiness that life brings and "good luck".

If your plans do not pan out then all is not lost, but do not deluge your former lover with messages. You are in danger of annoying them and this is a negative course of action it will lead to nothing but distrust. No, if you unfortunate enough to drop into this situation, and you ardently feel the need to undertake further actions to secure your ex's affections, then you definitely need some good advice from an detached person.

Advice can lead you in the right direction and good advice will invariably lead to a favourable outcome - be it a rekindling of a romance, or by empowering you with the insight to bring closure to a happy episode in your life with the confidence to scan on the horizon better and more rewarding pastures new.

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