5 ways to control your life
5 Ways to control your life
There are numerous ways of exercising control over and of your life and today I am concentrating on only five of them. If you can master these then you will be more relaxed, less stressed and definitely happier. They are not in order of preference but merely a demonstration of practices for a healthier and happier you.
- Learn meditation
- Realise that you are not a human being having a spiritual experience but are a spiritual being having a human experience
- Understand the difference between a human being and a human doing
- Know that you can absolutely control your thoughts and feelings. Be responsible for your thoughts and emotions
- Let go of trying to control anybody else
The benefits of meditation are enormous. There is a reduction of stress and tension throughout your whole body. The reason for this is that those who meditate on a regular basis shift their brain activity from the right frontal cortex where stress is prone to be to the left frontal cortex which is calmer giving you a feeling of well being. Meditation will increase concentration and strengthen your mind. This is accomplished with the training exercises that are given when you start meditation. Your mind is like any other muscle. Train it and make it work and it will serve you well. Meditation will lower your blood pressure and assist it in being normal.
Sometimes we think that all we are is this collection of bones, muscles, tissues and blood. Yes, we occasionally have a spiritual experience but all that life is is what we have right here right now. I believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. How many times have you gone somewhere and known without any doubt that you have been there before. The area is familiar, you even know what is around the next corner and yet you also know that you have never been there before during this life time. The answer is that yes, you have been there before. If you allow yourself to acknowledge that you are a spiritual being then you will also realise that all is well with you. There is no need to worry about anything. Just sit back and enjoy the experience of living now. Yesterday has gone and tomorrow may or may not happen so there is no point in concerning yourself about anything other than today.
Have you ever heard of the expression human doing? No, well then how about the expression human being? I would like to take a bet that the latter expression is one that you are familiar with. Yet, I find it strange that our language appears to use mostly the doing verb when referring to people. For example I am painting the house, I am cutting the grass, I am reading, and I am standing. Yet we are called human beings. Have you ever been contented to sit quietly and just be with no mad rushing around? Try just sitting quietly and enjoy the moment of just being alive. Take a walk and enjoy being in the fresh air. Look at your limbs and be thankful that you have them. Look at your home and instead of seeing the painting that needs to be done, be thankful that you have a roof over your head. Try to take a little time each day and be grateful for what you have and for being here. You will soon notice more things to be grateful for.
I have another question for you; do you consider that you are responsible for your actions and for your speech? I suspect that you will answer yes; it would be most strange if you answered no. OK are you responsible for your thoughts and emotions? If you answer no, that your thoughts and emotions are things that just happen to you then you are at the mercy of those thoughts and emotions and you really have little or no control. If you have no control over your emotions then depression can get a grip whenever it chooses to. Thoughts that you are inadequate can get a grip, indeed any negative thought can come when it chooses, knowing that you will not banish it so it can fester and lead to other negative thoughts. Now think of emotions. We all feel emotions every minute of the day. Some of these we register consciously and others we do not. Emotions can be like a pyramid. We get out of bed and stub our toe, get into the shower and the hot water will not come through then get into the car to find that someone is scowling at us at the traffic lights, then the driver behind is being impatient that we took so long to move when the lights turned to green. We get to work and cannot find a place to park the car, the lift has broken and by the time we get into the office we are in a thoroughly bad mood which stays with us all day. Does this sound familiar? It does not have to be this way. We chose with the first bump of the toe to allow anger to take over. Once that decision had been taken that we were angry then the Universe made everything fall into place to not only increase the anger but to keep it at a nice steady boil for the rest of the day. If we had chosen to start the day happy then again the Universe would allow everything to fall into place to keep us happy for the rest of the day. An emotion is within our conscious control. We choose how we feel in each moment. Thoughts are different; they have a habit of coming to us unbidden whenever they feel like it. We do, however, have a choice in whether we hang onto our thoughts and nourish them or merely observe them and let them go. To be happy why not choose thoughts which make you feel happy rather than sad. Why not try for the next week to be aware of your thoughts and aware of your feelings and emotions. If you become aware of an angry thought then consciously observe it and then it go. If you feel angry, then observe what it feels like to be angry and then consciously let the anger go and replace it with something which makes you feel happy. The choice of how you feel and the thoughts you have are under your control at all times. One of the problems is that no-one has ever taught you how to think before. They have taught you to walk, to drive a car and to do your job but one of the most important lessons you should have learned as a child was how to think, to maximise your wellbeing for life. It is known that stress kills, constant anger leads to ulcers and other health problems. Choose for yourself happiness, joy and love. Try to control your thoughts and emotions.
Many people if you ask them what will make them happy, will bring in other people. They might say they will be happy when their partner treats them the way they wish to be treated. They will be happy when their children are obedient. They will be happy when they are loved, when their boss gives them the respect they are due, when their co-workers stop being nasty to them, when their family do their share around the house and realise how worthy they are. Do you spot the common thread? These people are dependent on others for their happiness. This is a chain where the links are forged from need. A hopeless situation as no-one can be liked one hundred per cent by everyone. An exercise to break the dependency is go take a walk by yourself wherever it is that makes you feel happy. It could be by the sea or a walk in the hills or mountains and see you feel when you get back. The answer is that you enjoyed yourself and you did it all by yourself. I am not saying that you should not have company; of course man and women are social beings who thrive best in the company of others. I am convinced that you do not need the approbation of others to feel good about yourself. It is nice to be told that you are great, but it is not essential for your well being. Remember you have enough to do controlling your thoughts, controlling your emotions, controlling your temper, controlling your driving, controlling your job, controlling your speech, and controlling your actions. Why would you want to try to control other people as well? Leave others to control their own lives and do not let them be responsible for your happiness. It is lovely to share your life and we all do share ourselves on a daily basis with family, co-workers and friends but your happiness or otherwise should not be dependent on their emotions. As some-one very dear to me said many years ago, When you love someone you let them go, if they stay, great. If they go, then it was meant to be. Be happy with yourself and you will find that other people will want to be with you.
There are numerous ways of exercising control over and of your life and today I am concentrating on only five of them. If you can master these then you will be more relaxed, less stressed and definitely happier. They are not in order of preference but merely a demonstration of practices for a healthier and happier you.
- Learn meditation
- Realise that you are not a human being having a spiritual experience but are a spiritual being having a human experience
- Understand the difference between a human being and a human doing
- Know that you can absolutely control your thoughts and feelings. Be responsible for your thoughts and emotions
- Let go of trying to control anybody else
The benefits of meditation are enormous. There is a reduction of stress and tension throughout your whole body. The reason for this is that those who meditate on a regular basis shift their brain activity from the right frontal cortex where stress is prone to be to the left frontal cortex which is calmer giving you a feeling of well being. Meditation will increase concentration and strengthen your mind. This is accomplished with the training exercises that are given when you start meditation. Your mind is like any other muscle. Train it and make it work and it will serve you well. Meditation will lower your blood pressure and assist it in being normal.
Sometimes we think that all we are is this collection of bones, muscles, tissues and blood. Yes, we occasionally have a spiritual experience but all that life is is what we have right here right now. I believe that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. How many times have you gone somewhere and known without any doubt that you have been there before. The area is familiar, you even know what is around the next corner and yet you also know that you have never been there before during this life time. The answer is that yes, you have been there before. If you allow yourself to acknowledge that you are a spiritual being then you will also realise that all is well with you. There is no need to worry about anything. Just sit back and enjoy the experience of living now. Yesterday has gone and tomorrow may or may not happen so there is no point in concerning yourself about anything other than today.
Have you ever heard of the expression human doing? No, well then how about the expression human being? I would like to take a bet that the latter expression is one that you are familiar with. Yet, I find it strange that our language appears to use mostly the doing verb when referring to people. For example I am painting the house, I am cutting the grass, I am reading, and I am standing. Yet we are called human beings. Have you ever been contented to sit quietly and just be with no mad rushing around? Try just sitting quietly and enjoy the moment of just being alive. Take a walk and enjoy being in the fresh air. Look at your limbs and be thankful that you have them. Look at your home and instead of seeing the painting that needs to be done, be thankful that you have a roof over your head. Try to take a little time each day and be grateful for what you have and for being here. You will soon notice more things to be grateful for.
I have another question for you; do you consider that you are responsible for your actions and for your speech? I suspect that you will answer yes; it would be most strange if you answered no. OK are you responsible for your thoughts and emotions? If you answer no, that your thoughts and emotions are things that just happen to you then you are at the mercy of those thoughts and emotions and you really have little or no control. If you have no control over your emotions then depression can get a grip whenever it chooses to. Thoughts that you are inadequate can get a grip, indeed any negative thought can come when it chooses, knowing that you will not banish it so it can fester and lead to other negative thoughts. Now think of emotions. We all feel emotions every minute of the day. Some of these we register consciously and others we do not. Emotions can be like a pyramid. We get out of bed and stub our toe, get into the shower and the hot water will not come through then get into the car to find that someone is scowling at us at the traffic lights, then the driver behind is being impatient that we took so long to move when the lights turned to green. We get to work and cannot find a place to park the car, the lift has broken and by the time we get into the office we are in a thoroughly bad mood which stays with us all day. Does this sound familiar? It does not have to be this way. We chose with the first bump of the toe to allow anger to take over. Once that decision had been taken that we were angry then the Universe made everything fall into place to not only increase the anger but to keep it at a nice steady boil for the rest of the day. If we had chosen to start the day happy then again the Universe would allow everything to fall into place to keep us happy for the rest of the day. An emotion is within our conscious control. We choose how we feel in each moment. Thoughts are different; they have a habit of coming to us unbidden whenever they feel like it. We do, however, have a choice in whether we hang onto our thoughts and nourish them or merely observe them and let them go. To be happy why not choose thoughts which make you feel happy rather than sad. Why not try for the next week to be aware of your thoughts and aware of your feelings and emotions. If you become aware of an angry thought then consciously observe it and then it go. If you feel angry, then observe what it feels like to be angry and then consciously let the anger go and replace it with something which makes you feel happy. The choice of how you feel and the thoughts you have are under your control at all times. One of the problems is that no-one has ever taught you how to think before. They have taught you to walk, to drive a car and to do your job but one of the most important lessons you should have learned as a child was how to think, to maximise your wellbeing for life. It is known that stress kills, constant anger leads to ulcers and other health problems. Choose for yourself happiness, joy and love. Try to control your thoughts and emotions.
Many people if you ask them what will make them happy, will bring in other people. They might say they will be happy when their partner treats them the way they wish to be treated. They will be happy when their children are obedient. They will be happy when they are loved, when their boss gives them the respect they are due, when their co-workers stop being nasty to them, when their family do their share around the house and realise how worthy they are. Do you spot the common thread? These people are dependent on others for their happiness. This is a chain where the links are forged from need. A hopeless situation as no-one can be liked one hundred per cent by everyone. An exercise to break the dependency is go take a walk by yourself wherever it is that makes you feel happy. It could be by the sea or a walk in the hills or mountains and see you feel when you get back. The answer is that you enjoyed yourself and you did it all by yourself. I am not saying that you should not have company; of course man and women are social beings who thrive best in the company of others. I am convinced that you do not need the approbation of others to feel good about yourself. It is nice to be told that you are great, but it is not essential for your well being. Remember you have enough to do controlling your thoughts, controlling your emotions, controlling your temper, controlling your driving, controlling your job, controlling your speech, and controlling your actions. Why would you want to try to control other people as well? Leave others to control their own lives and do not let them be responsible for your happiness. It is lovely to share your life and we all do share ourselves on a daily basis with family, co-workers and friends but your happiness or otherwise should not be dependent on their emotions. As some-one very dear to me said many years ago, When you love someone you let them go, if they stay, great. If they go, then it was meant to be. Be happy with yourself and you will find that other people will want to be with you.
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