Have you ever heard of the expression, 'the squeaky wheel gets oiled?' Well believe it or not, 'squeakers' and complainers do achieve results; mountains are moved as a result of mild but persistent squeakiness.
For those on the receiving end of a complaint, the immediate reaction is often not very well received.
Some use the evasive approach by switching off; "Oh it has nothing to do with me.
It's not my fault".
For others it creates hopelessness; "Well, what's the point in doing anything, I might as well give up.
" Then there are those who begin to join the squeakers and groaners club; "Yes, you are absolutely right, nothing works around here!" It's no surprise that we are put off by complaints; on the surface they don't sound very constructive and can make us feel annoyed, angry, resentful or hopeless.
We strive day and night to make our world picture perfect but don't always succeed.
And so when others complain about us, or the way we do things, we feel inadequate and insecure; "Well, I have done all that I can, what more can I do?" That is, we take it personally; we shrivel up inside, and wonder "what's the point?" There is another approach to handling complaints.
In fact, when someone is complaining it is usually because they feel that their vision of the end result is better than ours, or they feel the need to correct us because they feel we have strayed from ours.
In the heat of the moment when words are spoken passionately, focus on the vision or the end result unfortunately gets lost.
We tend to project most of our energy in fixing the problem that is the complaint, rather than trying to understand the real reason for the complaint.
We don't recognize that, if we could only step back from our emotional response for a moment, we could perhaps gain an understanding of what the complainer is really reflecting back to us - and we may even learn something! It's time...
to listen to the complaints that come your way with dispassion and you will notice that, in reality, both parties have the same vision.
Each is looking for the best possible result, only from different angles.
Be tolerant of the complaints (and not defensive) and try to understand their vision as you would like them to understand yours.
Take a few moments to paraphrase what you hear them say, such as, "So you would like to see a cleaner, quieter environment around here.
" And then ask "how or why?" This way, opposition is diffused, and competition turns into collaboration.
From this new standpoint you may even realise that the squeaks are an opportunity in disguise, signalling you to compassion, understanding and growth.
With time, you will master these squeaks, oil the wheels of your relationships, and achieve the best result for all concerned.
Suddenly the above expression takes on a whole new meaning as we take time to oil our vision rather than the wheel.