It's a new year and everyone is scurrying to put bright plans into place.
School kids are busy starting a new semester and parents are making resolutions.
Even if the New Year isn't ringing in change, most families are plenty busy already.
Trouble is, families are so busy they're losing touch with each other.
In this article, you'll learn how to structure time for activities that build supportive families.
Let's meet Connie.
Connie is a 10-year-old girl and everybody in her family is busy.
Dad plays tennis.
Mom has sales meetings.
And Valerie, her older sister, is in the school play.
Connie feels like she hasn't seen her family since last summer.
The only thing she enjoys is family dinner.
One night half way through the meal the phone rings.
Mom says, "There's my client," and jumps up to answer the phone.
Valerie excuses herself to practice her lines.
And Dad pushes away from the table to browse backhand strokes on the Internet.
Connie looks around.
She's alone at the table, has nothing to do, and suddenly starts to cry.
At first she sheds one or two tears.
Then big drops wet her cheeks.
She lets them fall and doesn't try to stop.
Mom returns, talks to Connie and calls everyone back to the table.
The whole family suggests activities to cheer up Connie...
"You could sell cookies," Mom says.
"You could take up tennis," Dad says.
"You could read Shakespeare," Valerie says.
But it's no good.
Connie doesn't want an activity.
She wants her family back and she can't stop crying.
Then, one by one, they fold their arms around Connie.
First Valerie.
Then Mom.
Then Dad.
Until they form a big hug around Connie sitting in her chair at the dinner table.
And Connie smiles.
Now, every night after dinner Mom and Dad, Connie and Valerie share a big group hug.
Often it's brief.
No one wins or loses.
Everyone participates.
It's a simple celebration of family.
Support can be established many ways.
Your family dynamic will determine what works for you, but here are some tips on arranging family time that builds support.
Tips: Consistency: Do your family ritual at the same time and place to make it easier to remember--and fit into several schedules.
Think of specific dates.
How frequently and upon what occasions will you celebrate, and where? Communication: When you're supporting each other during your family activities, model good communication skills.
Listening, taking turns talking, suspending judgment, and caring for each other encourages everyone to show up next time.
Collaboration: The key to collaboration is participation, enjoyment, and support.
Make sure everyone has a role and knows how to succeed.
Also, make it light.
Focus on being together and helping each other enjoy the activity.
Connection: Help your kids connect the activity to something they understand and value.
If they can see how family time relates to what they care about they'll be more eager to participate.
Also, find ways for everyone to bond with each other.
Collaboration and good communication will help.