Looking for a little laugh? Maybe a new saying to print out at work and take to your cubicle wall? Or an inspirational quote to cut and paste on your Facebook wall.

Well, you’ve come to the right place. Below you will find 23 of the most interesting, funniest quotes from Stephen Colbert - from his character on The Colbert Report to his character on Strangers with Candy to the man himself.

So buckle up and get your laugh-track queued!

• "I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.”
• "My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.”
• "I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.”

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• "Northwestern's alumni list is truly impressive. This university has graduated best-selling authors, Olympians, presidential candidates, Grammy winners, Peabody winners, Emmy winners, and that's just me!”
• "Reality has a well known liberal bias."
• "And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.”
• "I can't prove it, but I can say it.”

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• "I wasn't pushing you away, I was pulling me toward myself. - as Chuck Noblet on Strangers with Candy

• "If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it."
• "If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!"

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• "Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes."
• "Dear God, please give me the strength to blame those who did this to me, to accuse those who didn't, and the wisdom to know the difference. - as Chuck Noblet on Strangers with Candy
• "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage."
• "I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death."
• "Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?"

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• "I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it."
• "Go tell the grief counselor. She's supposed to care. - as Chuck Noblet on Strangers with Candy
• "There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious."
• "I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work."
• "My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot, ... So we said, `Let's give him a promotion."
• "Before we leave, THAT is Ricky, he's a new student here at Flatpoint... Now I want you to treat Ricky like you would any other student you know nothing about and who evidently feels he can walk into my classroom in the middle of the semester and expect me to change my lesson plan. - as Chuck Noblet on Strangers with Candy
• "They said you can't go to the moon. They said you can't put cheese inside a pizza crust, but NASA did it. They had to, because the cheese kept floating off in space."
• "Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for people with attention spans."