As a third-time-around host mom there are four topics I've learned to add to my interviewing list when speaking with potential au pairs. For these topics I don't have specific questions that I use but rather, I broach the subjects and let the conversation flow from there, the topics are: eating habits, religion, transportation, and activity levels. I have found that these things come up in everyday life and are very relevant with my au pair and it was helpful in the last round of interviewing to mention them in the beginning.

*Eating Habits. I don't buy what I consider to be junk food like cookies, cheese puffs, or candy. Our first au pair wanted me to buy food that I normally wouldn't and I wanted to provide her with the requested items because I felt it was my host mom duty. We tried putting them on high shelves where the kids couldn't reach/find them but I ended up having more than one conversation with the kids about it being "Jauna food that's not for sharing." The second time we interviewed au pairs I said that I would be willing to buy junk food once a month but it would need to be stored and eaten where the children wouldn't see or ask for it. Of course she's welcome to buy her own food at any time though. As a compromise we put a mini fridge in the au pair bedroom and asked that she keep any food the family wouldn't normally eat in it. This worked out really well and though there were a couple of spills it wasn't anything that a steam cleaner couldn't get out at the end of her stay.

*Religion. Our family is welcoming and interested about all peoples' differences. We didn't request an au pair with a specific religion because we thought it would a great learning experience for our kids to have someone with different customs and practices to teach them. However this topic does relate back to eating habits. Because our religion has dietary restrictions, we ask that our au pairs not bring certain foods in to our house. If your religion dictates how your kitchen is run, it's best to explain that upfront.

Also be sure to ask if your au pair will want to attend regular religious services as that may be a transportation logistical issue depending on the available transportation. But I have to say that my family has had a great time celebrating our au pairs' different cultural and religious holidays, it's been great fun!

*Transportation. If your family has a third/au pair car be sure that everyone understands how gas will be divvied up and paid for, who is allowed to drive it (are you ok with friends driving the car?), and how many miles can be put on the car with personal use (what if you live in San Francisco and she wants to drive up to Napa for a weekend?). Also be careful about issues with Third Car Entitlement, though we've not had this issue I know other host parents whose au pairs have taken advantage of having a car at their disposal. Also be sure to give your au pair the tools she'll need to use public transportation and encourage it as a way to better see and learn about her host city. "Jump on a bus and see where you end up!"

*Activity levels. Be specific about the activity level you want your au pair to have. Are you going to be happy if your au pair is more of an observer than a participator? If your kids just need supervision at the park that's great, but if they're going to need your au pair to get on the slide with them you should say so. It may be beneficial to give an example of a typical non-school day. Don't expect that because an au pair says she enjoys nature she's going to be willing to jump in puddles and get muddy.

While it's good to be clear with your expectations, don't be inflexible. Au pairs are people too, you're expecting them to take care of your kids while you're away so make sure that everyone is happy and able to provide the best care. In case anyone's interested we use the AuPairCare agency and would definitely recommend that if you're interested in hosting an au pair you should check out their website at http://www.aupaircare.com or call their reps.