We all seek a happy life with our partners, particularly in a committed relationship that we hope continues in the long run.
However, relationships often get entrenched in conflict because of certain behavior patterns or communication glitches that come forth from either partner.
Each partner's behavior with their spouse is defined by their understanding of love, which is developed mostly on the basis of their past experiences in romantic as well as platonic relationships.
For example, a person who was cheated on in the past is likely to be insecure with their current partner, often expressing doubt or else stone walling him/her whenever they feel they are getting too attached or drawn towards them.
Negative behavior patterns could also be the outcome of what one has witnessed in the relationships of others around them.
From a very young age, our mind is constantly analyzing our parents' marriage, or the bonds that our siblings/friends/relatives etc.
share with their respective spouse.
A person whose parents had a particularly rough marriage or someone who comes from a broken family may constantly be trying too hard to filter out their parents' mistakes from their own scenario thus being overly cautious and thinking too much about things that may not even be relevant to their own situation.
On the other hand a person who comes from a stable and happy family, or had the good fortune to take inspiration from idealistic couples around them may unconsciously mirror what they perceived as positive behavior patterns.
These behavior patterns may be positive, but are not necessarily what every spouse desires.
The best bet would be to consciously assess your behavior patterns and become aware of how your mind has processed past relationships as well as what you have subconsciously picked up while observing other couples.
Try to consciously eliminate those behavior patterns that are having a negative impact on your relationship, or are not applicable to the person with whom you wish to find long lasting happiness.
It could be a healthy activity to discuss with your partner what he/she feels is detrimental to the relationship and then figure out if it is something you subconsciously learnt from the past.
Most marriage counselors advise couples not to let their past dictate their present or ruin the future.
Part of couple therapy is to assess each partner individually while they interact with one another and then identify negative behavior patterns followed by figuring out the past experiences that are causing them to behave as they do.
By going through this exercise, there is a chance that a crumbling relationship could be saved or rejuvenated.