I often get asked: "Sarah, what do you do when you are just so frustrated that you want to spit (or can't speak, or what have you)?" We all get our buttons pushed from time to time.
Sometimes, we are so out of sync with our loved ones that we don't know what to do.
Those times are excruciatingly uncomfortable and often quite painful.
The first thing to do is BREATHE.
And then breathe some more.
The second thing is to rest in the satisfaction that EVERYTHING is TEMPORARY.
It will pass.
That is a definite outcome.
The third thing is to remove yourself from doing more damage.
The ego is a powerful persuader and can make very convincing arguments that "you" know exactly what will "fix" the situation.
That message is often dressed up under all sorts of seemingly great intentions but really those are often masks for mischief-makers.
It can be very difficult to rest in something that is unresolved.
It can feel almost like life-or-death urgency.
That urgency (ego, dressed up again) can escalate uncomfortable matters into major disasters in a heartbeat.
Lastly, find something that quiets your mind.
Go for a walk, go for a swim, listen to loud music, dance around the living room, go throw rocks at an outdoor wall, pray or meditate, create art, view art.
Do something that fills your tank and release the other person into the guiding hands of a larger source.
It may take some time to get your reward, but it will come and when it does, it will be so much more valuable that a self-righteous outburst.
If you don't make it and an outburst happens: forgive yourself and the other person (if necessary) and move on.
Your homework: Take no bait (real or imaginary).
Make a decision ahead of time and stick with it to the best of your ability.
Forgive yourself and others.