It's a time when the retail market capitalizes on expressions of love through their advertising: chocolates, flowers, jewelry, teddy bears, gift certificates, and any gift that fits the occasion, making good profits from the sales. While it's always a good thing to express your love to someone with a gift on a special day, I want to propose something else. Celebrate every day with love!

What exactly is love? Most people describe love as warm, fuzzy feelings that occur when they think of a particular person or thing. It is a strong attraction, passionate devotion, enamored feeling or deep affection directed at someone in your life. Love means to cherish. And of course let's not forget the intimate aspect of expressing love. All of these depict love on some level, but let's go a little deeper into understanding true love.

In this world there are only two emotions, love or fear. Everything that expresses from love is positive, and everything that expresses from fear is negative. How does love show up in life? It appears as compassion, understanding, appreciation, acceptance, kindness, forgiveness, faith, trust, caring, patience and allowing. Fear, on the other hand, expresses as hatred, anger, rage, criticism, procrastination, doubt, judgment, retaliation, revenge, shame, guilt, gossip and so on. I believe that as you look at the expressions of these two emotions, your choice would be to experience the vibrations from love.

So we've established that love expressed is more favorable in your life, but there is a very important fact that you must understand. In fact, it is so vital to experiencing love that without doing it you will never experience love fully. You have to be the love that you want to attract and experience! Here's how it works. Likes attract likes, so this means that in order to bring anything to you, you have to own it already. It works like a magnet. A metal magnet does not attract paper or silk, but put a paper clip next to the magnet and you will soon see the clip hanging onto the magnet as if stuck by glue. The same is true for love. Be a person full of love and the only beings who will come to you are those filled with love or seeking to experience what you are.

Perhaps you've heard the phrase, only love heals. This is a truth. Think for a minute about the opposite emotion fear. Since when does anger, blame or judgment heal anything? These are expressions of fear that are often part of a person's life. Many people harbor hurts and anger toward other human beings, usually towards a person with whom they had a relationship. Someone says or does something directed at a person and anger or hurt fills that person to the point that they no longer communicate with that individual. If not released, that anger and hurt will continue to fester within them, causing much pain, and it will eventually surface in some form, maybe illness. In the meantime, the relationship suffers or perhaps dissipates, and nothing is healed.

So what purpose does the pain serve? When affected by unresolved anger and hurt, you become the victim. As a victim you suffer continually and might receive empathy from those around you, but the pain never leaves you. Instead, it becomes the magnet that attracts more of the same. Remember, we established above that likes attract likes, so if you are filled with anger and hurt, that will be expressed from within you and bring to you more situations that are similar. Yet if you ask anyone if they want to experience this pain, they will most likely say "Of course not."

Did you know it takes a lot more energy to hold onto anger and hurt than it does to feel love? Think about what it feels like when you feel love toward someone. There's a softness and excitement that pervades your being, which allows you to radiate a glow from the inside out. Stored anger doesn't do that for it makes you scowl and frown. In this place you are living small, and let's not forget that negative feelings age you faster! Knowing these things, I cannot see that hanging onto angry or hurtful feelings serves any purpose of good, can you?

So how do you come to a place of only feeling and therefore expressing love? There are several emotions that come to mind that if you utilize them, will bring to you only loving experiences: Gratitude; Acceptance; Forgiveness. Gratitude is an expression based in love. When you are thankful for someone or something, it is impossible to be angry or hurting. Gratitude unlocks the door that brings you more of the same. It is a positive expression that only reaps what it sows - more to be grateful for!

Acceptance washes away judgment and criticism. So what if someone doesn't agree with you. That's their truth and its okay. When you can honor someone else for who they are, regardless of whether or not they agree with you or even approve of you, you are validating them as a human being, and they in turn will do the same for you. Since we are each a unique being, it is virtually impossible to always agree on everything with everybody. Think about religion and politics for a minute. I've heard so many heated arguments over issues related to these two subjects, and I bet you have too. Some individuals go so far as to avoid any further contact with the person who will not agree with them. How sad. As a coach I have learned that each person has their own model of the world as it should be, and the only way to help them is to acknowledge their truth whether it works for me or not.

Perhaps one of the most difficult things to do is forgive someone, and I mean really forgive them. What it literally constitutes is a release of the emotion that is attached to the particular experience that triggered your feelings of being hurt or wanting revenge. But you say, "Why should I do that? They are the one that did such and such to me and I have the right to be hurt." Let me ask you this. "What good does it serve you? Does it make you feel better if they are in pain?" Many people would say it absolutely does. But if you are relishing in any hurt that you can impart on them, you are actually sliding downward into their negative pool of drama and being sucked into their lower vibration. In essence, if you lower yourself to their perception, they have control over you. Yikes! That should sting.

The heart is where you find love. In fact, it is the only place in which you are real and where your truth resides. So often individuals rationalize about a particular behavior and leave out the heart. Although all action begins with a thought first, when the mind leads it can be disastrous. As Mark Twain, American writer and humorist once said, "When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain." You've probably heard about unconditional love. This is love without strings attached, it simply is. Accepting, appreciating, forgiving and being grateful are emotions that arise from a loving heart.

We are created from love. It is our heritage and is our natural state. All the feelings from fear based emotions are something we have learned during our existence on this earth. You are a powerful being who has the ability to choose. Do you want a life filled with love? Or would you rather hold onto all the pain and anger? The only thing that really matters is love. Be the love you want - that's how you attract love into your life!

Let me close with these lyric excerpts from the song "Love Can Build a Bridge - Love can build a bridge...between your heart and mine. Don't you think it's time."

Carolyn Porter, D. Div., is an internationally known speaker, author of multiple books and audios that include "The Realness of a Woman" and "Angel Love", spiritual wholeness coach, trainer and angel channel whose passion is helping individuals move beyond their limitations and help them see they can do and be what they can envision. She recently opened a healing center called Where Miracles Happen in Woodstock, GA, fulfilling a seven year dream. Their services include massage, hypnotherapy, life and health coaching, angel sessions, self-publishing coaching, reiki, reflexology, classes, infrared sauna, a gift shop, and much more. For more information or to order her books visit her website at http://www.drcarolynporter.com