Relationships aren't always a pleasant experience.
Popular culture brings this issue to the forefront every time we turn on the car radio or our iPod.
When you hear a song do you hear it the same way as the person next to you? Do the lyrics mean the same to you that they do to them? Words can be played and twisted; they can suggest totally different things.
Different experiences in relationships and life can cause each of us to have a very different understanding of a song.
Do you ever stop and try to hear it from another persons point of view? Eminem and Rihanna have received a lot of bad press because of their song "Love the Way You Lie".
Most of us have heard the many complaints that the lyrics of this song support domestic violence.
What about the other side? Is there a chance that this song doesn't support the act of violence but instead supports the victims of violence? Giving them a voice and letting the world hear things from their point of view.
If you have never been a victim of violence in a relationship the lyrics of song can easily be understood in a way that suggests the song supports abuse.
What if you listen from the point of view of someone who has been abused? When Rihanna says, "Just gonna stand there and watch me burn; But that's alright because I like the way it hurts; Just gonna stand there and hear me cry; But that's alright because I love the way you lie" she not saying she likes the abuse or that she is accepting it.
She is convincing herself that she is ok.
She is a woman who feels trapped in this cycle of violence.
She has to tell herself its ok, that she is ok, if she admits to herself she isn't; she won't survive.
Try to ask yourself if you were being abused by someone you love what would you do? Be honest with yourself.
We aren't as strong as we think when it happens to us.
Have you listened to the lyrics of Bruno Mars hit song Grenade? Why hasn't the same attention been brought to his lyrics? Because his words are concealed as a love song.
Rihanna and Eminem don't conceal that they are signing about violence in a relationship the way Bruno Mars and many others do in their songs.
Since their message isn't cleverly disguised they have taken a lot of criticism for the lyrics.
The song Grenade is not a love song.
There is nothing sweet or romantic about telling someone you would take a grenade for them after they make it clear they have no interest in you.
The lyrics are about an obsessive man who will do anything to get a girl who doesn't want him.
It's creepy, it's stalking and it's dangerous.
Stalking cause's emotional injury to another human being and it often leads to physical violence.
Not only is he stalking but he commits suicide when he comes to terms that he can not have her.
There will always be songs with lyrics we don't understand or don't agree with.
Interpretation of a songs lyrics are in the eye of the beholder.
The next time you turn on the radio try to think about the words you are listening to.
What do they say to you? Then think, what could they say to someone else? Contract organizations like Heartly House in Frederick County http://www.
heartlyhouse.
org or in Baltimore County and Carroll County http://www.
baltimorecountymd.
gov/Agencies/statesattorney/victimwitness/batteredwomen.
html or visit their websites for more information on domestic violence.
If you or someone you love need the help of one of these groups do not hesitate to contact them.
Many even offer programs for the abuser, not just the abused.
The issue of violence in relationships is bigger than we are willing to acknowledge to ourselves.
Regardless of how these or any lyrics speak to us, they have helped bring much needed attention to subjects many of us aren't comfortable facing.