Those who have suffered through degrading relationships know that their self esteem took quite a hit, although in the honeymoon phase things were probably great.
In the end you need healing.
Our relationships are tied very closely to our self worth.
Whether you are still in the dating stage or have moved into the realm of marriage you identify your self esteem to your relationship with good and bad days.
Ideally we all want a relationship that makes us feel ten feet tall but it does not always work out that way.
Often when things start to unravel we wonder if it is something we need to change or could it be your partner is projecting past issues on the present relationship that affected them adversely for the worse.
This can be a draining emotion but one that is necessary in order to seek a point of closure and begin to heal.
If you suspect your partner is holding on to issues from their past encourage them to seek help so they can move forward and concentrate on the relationship at hand.
A good idea would be to get them interested in reading recommended self help books which will teach them strategies to work the issues out.
In a strong relationship both partners can work together in order to continue healing in a healthy manner.
In order to keep building on the foundations of a good relationship make an appointment with a counselor equipped to offer sound advice to work with.
During this process it is key to remain patient with one another resisting the urge to overly criticize the others endeavors.
We often use the term constructive criticism but that is just a politically correct term and is still in a nutshell criticism.
This only serves to put you on defense and eventually it can backfire making the one being criticized feel as though they can never do anything right.
Essentially the one offering destructive criticism is holding power over the other.
Talking your differences through and the willingness to see through the others eyes is also a key step to healing.
You will be both empowered if you can talk openly and honestly about what you'd like to see change or remain the same in your relationship.
Being transparent in sharing what hurts you and where you need strength will keep you both on the same page.
There are many strategies that are helpful to couples whether they are dating or married.
If you are having thoughts of separation you'll find working as a team will affect your relationship for the better and if by chance the relationship ends despite your best efforts you will still continue on the path to healing and be ready to enjoy the next relationship that evolves as you will have become a better person.