After the marriage has taken place and you have settled in with your husbands family, you may discover that your brother-in-law (BIL) is not your friend or neighbor.
However, your BIL does play an important part in the family, and he is the brother of your new husband.
He acts as a guardian of the family, and can be a nice person to have on your side when dealing with negotiations in your new home.
Although every guy is different, Punjabi guys have a certain pride and attitude that is very distinct.
Often, especially if you're not used to this type of attitude, there are five different ways you can deal with your Punjabi BIL.
Get to Know Each Other Brothers-in-law can be immature or resistant to letting a new person into the family.
Everyone gets a little insecure when a new member enters the family, so your basic aim is to settle down and change everyone's attitude, making you a distinct family member.
BILs are not that tough, you just need to gain his confidence by interacting with him and showing a little bit of interest in his life.
Set a Benchmark Trust is the biggest treasure one can earn from another person.
Set a goal, or benchmark, of a time when you want your BIL to be comfortable with you around.
Always keep a positive attitude around him, and show him through your actions towards him that he can trust you.
Respect his position in the family, and he will respect yours.
With time, once you reach the goal of earning his trust, you'll notice him including you more.
Take a Casual Approach Punjabi men love their mother tongue, Punjabi.
Speak in Punjabi around your BIL, and don't be too formal in your interactions with him.
This will keep things flowing.
Language helps you take control over your body and makes you casual by expressing what is meant in you BIL's comfortable, mother tongue.
Talk about common, casual Punjabi things together like Pujabi music.
Being pals can be done and letting positive emotions take part can make things work in a positive direction.
Listen & Act Be a mentor or a guiding light and be a good listener at all times.
Spend time, play cards and eat food Punjabi style.
Punjabis are big food lovers.
After marriages, families often hang out for dinners and this is the best time you can be at ease and get to know the taste of your brother in law.
Learn to be a good chef too, gaining confidence and earning good marks from him by the food you prepare.
It is presumed that eating habits depict the personality of the person in front of you, so act appropriately and have good manners at the dinner table.
A little bit of manners goes a long way.
At first, your BIL will be shy and won't find it appropriate to talk with their "bhabhi" (sister in law) so you need to break the ice and talk to him and remove the awkwardness, if any.
Sweet & Sour Approach Lastly, actions speak louder than words.
You need to set your limits too.
If you would be too casual then he may over power you, so at times being blunt in a way or two will change the way he sees you.
While you do need to be nice to him, it's important for you to stand your ground so he will treat you with the respect you deserve in your new Punjabi matrimony.